Silly summer afternoon

 I took leave from my college, the road towards Vijayanagar. The red light was on so I had to wait for the traffic to clear. I had my earphones on, with Rihanna fired up in my new Lumia 535. There is something about Rihanna, her sultry voice that takes me to her amazing performance in the movie 'The city of thousand planets'. Every song of her is a flow of raw energy and who can deny that when she asked,

"Come here rude boy, boy 

Can you get it up

Come here rude boy, boy

Are you big enough"?

Anyways, I text her.

"let's hang out this today?"

It was our last exams today. I was glad that it was over. More for the fact that I don't have to study stupid econometrics anymore. Oh! how much I hate econometrics. She on the other hand is great at it. Several times she has given me a lesson and it made no difference to me. Who am I kidding? I wasn't paying any attention to the lesson.

"I'll be there in 25 mins, Get something to eat. I am starving", my phone buzzed.

I replied with a smiley emoji and pushed the phone back to my pocket.

I knew what just I had to get. I was near my flat, I decided to first take a quick tour of Mr crust to buy some eatables. I quickly ordered some sandwiches and one chocolate muffin. I am not fond of muffins but I know how much she likes it and how her eyes glow just with the mention of it. For me, It is stupid food. Its taste is okay but how the paper remains stuck to it when one tries to remove it. To be fair it is harsh to call a food stupid due to own my clumsiness to even get a wrapper off. She always watches me struggle with it first and then offers to unwrap the muffin for me. I asked to add one more to the bill.

Within a couple of minutes, I was in my flat. I put the food in the kitchen. I consciously took a look around. I don't consider myself an anal person to keep everything tidied up and without blemish. Occasionally, I don't mind a towel lying here and there. Sometimes, I find a single sock under my chair. Above all, I on purpose keep my table unorganised, all my books and notes placed haphazardly. Weird but it helps me study better. I picked up a few lying dirty t-shirts and threw them in the cupboard. It's just her presence makes me a little conscious of my surrounding even though we have known each other for more than 2 years.

Next five minute or so goes changing the songs, now playing on the blue-tooth speaker. I decide to play songs of movie Kasoor. It was over these cheesy, Bollywood romantic songs that we bonded. Voice of Kumar Sanu does something to me when he says, " ke kitni muhabbat hai tumse, Jara paas aa ke to Dekho."

The bell rings, it is her. 

I let her in. She says nothing to me and runs quickly to the kitchen to grab food. 

How disrespectful? 

Right? 

Wrong!

I love it how much we share our mutual love for food. We talk for a while and gossip about all the silly things we do. 

We decided to watch a movie. It is some comedy movie she picked up. I already have watched it but I ask her, "is this a good movie"? 

She says " it has a good rating and it is one of the cult movies." I don't object to it. It isn't about the movie. I don't suppose it is lying to withhold some information to spend time with her. It is a dry afternoon of summer. Once in a while hot wind flip the curtain over the window and increase the irritation on the skin. It is her company and comfort in my heart that makes this moment a pleasant one.

I watch her struggle to search and play the movie. I comment on it. I continue looking at her. Should I tell her that any comment that I make about her always have a great deal of appreciation in it? All little jokes about her, insult and limerick are words of genuine admiration masked in sarcasm. I think should I tell her all these. Or should I tell her that I find her attractive? Period. Without any joke, sarcasm or any comment.

I think Is she aware that I am thinking of all this?

We start watching the movie. I already know all the scenes. Just after the protagonist jumps into a puddle, his friend too is going to trip over the wire. Undoubtedly, the scene is funny but things on my mind? They can't be compared to what is on the screen.

The movie progress. it is hard to believe that it has only been 19 minutes into the movie whereas in my mind time is not moving. The clock is struck still. This moment seems frozen in time. And I suppose so am I.

Suddenly I find myself conscious of my legs and hand as to where they are. There isn't much distance between us. Also, the mood isn't romantic by any standard. One character in the movie just shat himself in the pants. It is everything but romantic. The distance between our hands is within a foot, should I hold her? Our lips are placed at a little over a foot, how hard would it be to move them closer and diminish it to zero? And yet I am there locked, even unable to move. I can hardly move my eyes. I decide not to take it away from her face, for I know how much I want to let it wander all over her. I allow my eyes to move minimally.

And then our eyes meet.

She notices that I am distracted. Probably she noticed me noticing her too.

I take a quick detour, abandoning the train I was riding on, I snap back to reality, to the movie we are watching. I grab a sandwich to eat to hide my awkwardness. However, I let the train running. The clouds of my imagination and " should i's" are getting bigger and bigger.

I let the thoughts be there. Hoping, someday I will have the courage to tell her all these little details. I let these mini bursts of thoughts go with a wonder that what she thinks of me. Are there little thoughts of her own?